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让我们祈求更好的翻译


在图书馆借到了国内的一张CD,包装精美,歌曲动人,不小心看了一眼歌曲翻译,眉头不由紧了一下。这样的翻译,如果是人翻的,那译者的责任心可见一斑;如果是机译的,那说明出版人纯粹是在做包装;  或者是对自己的英文能力很有自信的艺人的杰作。而这样的翻译,偏巧又飘洋过海,让老外看到了,只会留下拙劣的印象。

本来想扫描了上传,但不想公开这个专辑,所以只好费神打上其中一小部分。希望大家也不要进行人肉搜索。

祈祷

让我们敲希望的钟啊
多少祈祷在心中
让大家看不到失败
叫成功永远在
让地球忘记了转动啊
四季少了夏秋冬
让宇宙关不了天窗
叫太阳不西沉
让欢喜代替了哀愁啊
微笑不会再害羞
让时光懂得去倒流
叫青春不开溜
让贫穷开始去逃亡啊
快乐健康留四让世界找不到黑暗
幸福像花开放
让大家看不到失败
叫成功永远

译文:

PRAY

How many prays in the heart

Let everyone shouldn’t see the failure

Let the earth forget turning

Season is short of summer, autumn and winter

Let love replaces sadness

Smile will not feel ashamed again

Let time understand turn back call the youth don’t slip away

Let poor begin to escape

Happiness and health is everywhere

Let world shouldn’t find darkness

Happiness bloom as the flower

Let’s knock the hope clock

How many prays in the heart

Let everyone shouldn’t see the failure

Call the success be here forever

Let everyone shouldn’t see the failure

Call the success be here forever

偏巧有个老外想知道这首歌的内容,于是给他做了如下的翻译:

Let’s Pray

Let’s toll the bell of hope, with millions of hearty prayers

May failure be gone and success stay

May the Earth forget to revolve and the spring pervade

May the Universe’s skylight be stuck open so the day doesn’t fade

May joy but not sadness remain so smiles won’t shy away

May clocks reverse then youth won’t slip away

May poverty be  exiled thus good health and joy fill every place

May darkness lose its way

Happiness blossoms like flowers in their heydays

 

Let’s toll the bell of hope, with millions of hearty prayers

May failure be gone and success stay

May failure be gone and success stay

翻译曲目的时候,想用The Prayer,但The Prayer是一首非常动听非常著名的英文歌,席莲迪瓮 和凯尔特人女子组经常演绎,所以改成了Let’s Pray。译文不能说很好但老外能看得懂,而且还押韵,说不定哪天可以用英文来唱这首歌。当然,先得付我稿费。

附上另一首及其译文,征求各位翻译爱好者的译思。

回来我的爱
思念的滋味
就像这杯苦咖啡
虽然可以加点糖
依然叫人心憔悴
往事不可追
回忆仿佛冷风吹
当初都是我的错,让你伤心头也不回
现在我整夜后悔多盼望你能归
未来没有你做陪,
我该怎样面对
老天,请给我机会
补偿心上人些许安慰
如果,生命可以轮回
我宁愿意时光倒退
明天,我还要受罪
任凭心情被寂寞包围
但愿,或许你能体会
原谅我所做所为
回来回来回来我的爱
回来回来回来~我的

Come Back My Love

Taste of remember is like this cup of bitter coffee

Although can add some sugar

Still make you distress

Can’t make track for the past recall is like the breeze

At the beginning it’s all my wrong

Make you sad and can’t turn around

I regret all the night

Hope you can return

How I should face the future without you

The sky give me the opportunity

Compensate comfort to the sad person

If life can be again

I would like that the time will be come back

Tomorrow I still suffer

Let the moond (注:原文如此)be surrounded by lonesome

Wish I can realize with heart

Forgive what I do

Come back my love

相信大家看了原作的翻译就会恨不得马上用自己的翻译来取代它,我就是这样的,不过既然要征求各位行家的译思,过了两天我才贴上自己的翻译如下:

Missing you, tastes bitter like this cup of coffee

Even with sugar added, I’m just pining away

All gone is gone

Memory is nothing but a chilly wind

It was all my fault

Hurting you without looking back to help you

How I regret, over sleepless nights

How I long, for you to come back to me

How can I survive my future without you

May God spare me a chance

To make up for you, my love

To comfort you, my sweetheart

If times could be reversed and life could be repeated,

I willed my suffering of today to go on and on

I willed myself in the tangle of loneliness

Then hope you will know how sorry I am

And forgive what I have done to you

Come back to me, please, please, my love

Come back to me, please, please, my love

 

 
 
 
 
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